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We all want someone to set the tone and follow along, instead of realizing that we’re always setting the tone ourselves.

I realize that I’ve gone on a bit of a tangent from your original question, Dwayne, but this is important.

I seem to run into this a lot and haven’t seen this addressed.

In my first email, I usually ask a few questions and figure the female will answer them, which they usually do, but then they don’t ask anything of me but still seem interested.

This probably sounds incredibly nitpicky, but it’s not. I’ve got two techniques for writing first emails that I describe in Finding the One Online.

If you’re going to write the same exact email as every single person on the dating site, you can’t be surprised when you get deleted quickly like junkmail. One is called Fun Fiction, in which you make up something silly based on a detail in the other person’s profile. You may think that this stuff doesn’t matter – that people only write back to the most attractive people no matter what.

Who would a woman rather go out with – the boring lunkhead who asks for her number before he’s had a chance to charm her, or the witty guy whose every email she anticipates with delight? So do yourself a favor, Dwayne: stop beating up on yourself because she doesn’t sound interested.

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