Dating an infected partner with herpes
I know that makes little difference to the reality of your situation -- that it changes nothing -- but in some way, I hope you can feel the huge hug I am giving you right now. According to "Most people with genital herpes have infrequent, mild, or no noticeable symptoms, and 90 per cent of them are totally unaware that they even have it." And that, according to is because "surprisingly, most doctors do NOT include a blood test for herpes even when they are testing their patients for other common STDs."So, even if you and your partner wait to be tested before having sex -- if you haven't asked for the specific herpes blood test -- there is STILL the risk that one or both of you have the HSV1 or HSV2 virus and don't know it. Statistically 60-80 per cent of adults carry the HSV1 virus (in the form of cold sores) whereas 14-20 per cent carry the HS2 virus on the genitals.
According to Dating With (DWH.org) about 45-60 million Americans have genital herpes. According to DWH.org: HSV1 has become the cause of about 30 per cent of new genital herpes infections -- usually spread via oral sex.
And, one of the greatest dichotomies is that the VERY thing, for me, that demonstrates my true love for a man is to have an intimate sexual relationship with him.
I've given myself to very few men over the years, and one of these very few men (who happens to be married, but we are in an open relationship together with his wife's consent, we are essentially "friends with benefits"); well, he was someone that I've always believed cared for me. And what makes this whole situation even worse is that he TOLD me he had it and I didn't take any precautions to protect myself. I've even told my friends that "he didn't know he had it" because I can't even admit to myself that I didn't look out for myself the way I should have.
And the not-so-"funny" thing is, it's more common to be thought of as "dirty" or "damaged goods" if you have HSV2, yet no one seems to mind if it's "just a cold sore."HSV1 and HSV2 are essentially the same virus -- it's just a matter of where they present on the body.
So, to the aware individual who has done her homework on the Herpes virus, you are no more "dirty" or "damaged goods" if you have HSV2 instead of HSV1. Mary, I feel that your question about herpes is so critically important because your major concern has to do with the ongoing painful physical symptoms that you've endured and how you could never risk passing this on to someone you love.
However, I also feel that the pertinent thing to keep in mind here is that the symptoms you are having are not "normal" (without trying to make you feel "abnormal").